Emerald City Review: 1×07 “They Came First”

What the frilly heck did I just watch?

I’m angrier about this than I should be. I wasn’t terribly invested in this show until the last two episodes, but this recent one was a total dumpster fire. Most scenes throughout felt like they were half formed or just straight-up missing the ending. They crammed all kinds of flashy graphics into the episode, almost as if they needed to use up their graphics budget.

So where exactly did this episode go wrong? Honestly, right out of the gate I wasn’t that interested in what was happening. Dorothy and Lucas are traveling to Glinda’s castle with Toto and Sylvie in tow, but that’s not exciting enough, so the writers tossed a pack of wolves into the mix. Lucas, Toto and Dorothy have inexplicably left little Sylvie in a field, all alone, while they collect water. They hear a pack of wolves, and Dorothy takes off running to Sylvie, screaming her name. That’s right, screaming the name of the essentially deaf child as a pack of wolves converges on her. She stops running towards the girl but continues screaming until the gauntlets activate, and Dorothy somehow magically knocks all the wolves down. Then, the scene ends — and the next time we see the party, they are back on the road, safe and sound. It felt unfinished and sloppy. That could have been the name of the episode, to be honest.

There isn’t a single character on this show that I like anymore. (Well, Toto is still cool, but he doesn’t get enough screen time.) No dogs ever get enough screen time, in my opinion. I can’t sort out anyone’s motives, and nobody gets my sympathy. East is the most interesting character — and she’s strung out on drugs during the majority of this episode. Tip is progressing rapidly into a strong woman, but it feels forced and slightly underdeveloped. The dialogue was back to the trite nonsense from the first couple of episodes — like this gem from Lady Ev, “My father didn’t die. He was murdered.” Please excuse me while I roll my eyes so far back into my head that the optic nerve detaches.

Lady Ev, now the Queen of Ev, makes some strange and cruel moves in this episode. While mourning her father, Ev spits nasty vitriol at Jack after he tries to comfort her. She proceeds to kick him out of her carriage and leaves him stranded in the Screaming Forest. Eventually, after he begins to rust, Lady Ev returns on her horse to retrieve Jack. She uses her oil can to lubricate his rusted bits and then, well, then came one of the most uncomfortable scenes I have had to sit through on network television. Ev, after promising to “behave” while she oils up Jack’s rusted legs, deviates from that plan and clearly gives Jack some extra attention. It’s awkward and ends abruptly, but it was definitely the most uncomfortable simulated sex act I’ve ever seen. Something about it taking place in a forest that is haunted by the screams of men and women alike just left a bad taste in my mouth. (I regret that word choice, but you get what I mean.)

That wasn’t the only uncomfortable scene, though; we were “treated” to a couple more before the end. Ev and Jack return to her castle and retreat to her father’s old room… so they can have sex. On her recently deceased father’s bed. Call me old-fashioned, but I think a couple’s first time together should take place NOT IN YOUR DEAD DAD’S BED. After that, we also discover that Lucas (or Rowan) is actually Glinda’s lover, and he makes a clear choice to be with her and abandon Dorothy. He even tells Glinda that Dorothy came to kill her. We didn’t know much of Rowan’s story, but I wasn’t expecting such a sharp betrayal there. Glinda’s magic prevented him from remembering that part of his life, which lead to him falling in love with Dorothy. The whole scene in which Rowan and Glinda suck face was just weird.

The entire episode was just strange. I hope next week picks back up the pace of previous two episodes. Let me know what you thought of this week’s Emerald City and if you are going to keep watching after this half-assed disappointment of an episode.

Rating
Graphics were fantasticManaged to surprise me with one plot twist
Lazy writing, terrible dialogueNo relatable characters
3.5Overall Score
Reader Rating 0 Votes
0.0
Like what you see? Support Geek Bomb on Patreon!